Confessions of a Horny Bunny

From time to time you find in your life people with the most disgusting conversations you can imagine... Think about it... There's always someone who will tell you something you don't want to know...

In my case it comes in the form of a friend... Who has the most horrible conversation ever... His masturbation habits... And believe me... They are plain wrong, the worst part is, he feels happy about telling me this stuff in the middle of lunch... Since I meet him... I forgot about salad dressing.

This is a sample of one of those charming moments:

Me: Let's seat here
Him: Ok
Me: Did you see Conan yesterday... The part of the... Blah blah blah... She was hot
Him: dude... She did a 80 wank on the jerk-o-meter
Me: Huh?
Him: C'mon dude... Don't you do it it's the best
Me: I'm starting to feel that I don't want to know...
Him: Of course you want to know... I'll tell you
Me: Crap... I fear my future
Him: I start by hitting the shower for a long log steamy bath... Then I go to my leather coach and put the TV on... Totally naked with my friends... Mr. Cream lotion and Mr. Kleenex...
Me: Oh God, please kill me now!!
Him: Then I start the zapping, Rub enough lotion in my hand to fill my dick with it and start the jerk-o-meter... For every girl that comes to the spot I meter her hotness with strokes of my dick... The number of wanks depends in how horny I am... Usually 10 is the lowest... After a session of this you feel like giving al the love every hot woman deserve...
Me: I'm gona puke... I hate you... Don't ever... ever invite me to your house... Ever!!!

So you can see... I have to live through this every day... So... Please... Kill me!!